Cortez Clam Jam

A few yers ago I posted a little video I took of Bob the Cockroach in the Men’s room at the Clam Factory in Cortez, Florida. My elderly cousin, Al loves to go to the Clam factory, Before his stroke he was there every night of the week except Sunday eating raw oysters. On Sundays whe went to the Anna Maria Oyster Bar in Bradenton and ate raw oysters.. He’s nuts about raw oysters. Hes always trying to pick up old ladies. His pickup line is “Do you like raw oysters?” It doesn’t work. I take Al to the Clam factory on Tuesdays when they jam. People love the joint. The music is kind of loud for me. Here’s the jam from last Tuesday:

People have been asking me if I intend to publish more book collections in the future. Yes, I do. I hope to get three more Ernie/Piranha Club books out this coming year. I also want to publish two single panel books, one of which will be fuol of science cartoons. When I first started cartooning I had an inside track since I was a PhD physicist (yes, it’s true), and I sold lots of cartoons to science publications.

Here are some Sunday strips from 2009

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Village of the Arts

The Village of the Arts is a neighborhood which is a short walk from downtown Bradenton, Florida. Local artists live there and have their studios and galleries in the old little houses. I drove through there today. It was Sunday and all the galleries were closed. Take a gander:

 

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Back in January 1998 Enos was having marital problems. So who doesn’t? Frau Pork and Mother Packer have changed their hair styles since way back then.ernie-98-01-19 ernie-98-01-20 ernie-98-01-21 ernie-98-01-22 ernie-98-01-23 ernie-98-01-24 ernie-98-01-26 ernie-98-01-27 ernie-98-01-28 ernie-98-01-29 ernie-98-01-30 ernie-98-01-31

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Happy New Year!

Today Frau grace and I took a walk through The Robinson Preserve in Palma Sola right near Bradenton, Florida. I had never been there. It brought back memories of my childhood. The Robinson preserve is salt barrens. Very little is left from the days of my childhood on Anna Maria, but walking through the preserve brought back memories. When I was a kid on Anna Maria Island we had two places to play. The beach or the JUNGLE. I’d come home to the trailer all covered with mud and scratches, and my mother would say “Where have you been?” and the answer was THE JUNGLE. It really was a jungle too. Like this:

img_8113Here’s a boardwalk through the mangroves:

img_8118This is typical of the open areas where we played. At big high tides, this will be under water:img_8092This guy fishing off a bridge told me that he had caught and released at least twenty fish in the previous hour. Black drum, snappers (I’m guessing mangrove snappers), sheepshead. This year has been great for fish. I haven’t seen so many mullet since I was a kid. Here’s a panorama of a bayou:

img_8090My Iphone 5s does a great job with panoramas.

Enough of that. This story is from winter, 1994. Sid loses
Earl. Omigod! Will they ever be reunited?!ernie-94-02-07 ernie-94-02-08 ernie-94-02-09 ernie-94-02-10 ernie-94-02-11 ernie-94-02-12 ernie-94-02-14 ernie-94-02-15 ernie-94-02-16 ernie-94-02-17 ernie-94-02-18 ernie-94-02-19 ernie-94-02-21 ernie-94-02-22 ernie-94-02-23 ernie-94-02-24 ernie-94-02-25 ernie-94-02-26p

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My Computer Went Blewey

I  have to take it in to some computer jock on Tuesday to see if we can bring it back from the dead. It’s a 31 inch IMac from 2010. But I have my 2013  AirBook. I’m such a competer savvy guy. When I was in college so many many years ago the University computer (Florida State) took up the entire basement of the physics building. (I was a whiz on my Deitzgen slide rule) Now a laptop can do more than that big old dinosaur could. When I was a grad student we fed our programs into the computer with punch cards. I wrote programs with hundreds of cards long. You don’t remember the old Univac Computer, do you?

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and I wish for you a healthy and prosperous 2017!

Here are some new years strips from long ago…ernie-04-01-02

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How to Spot a Redneck

Like this.

Merry Christmas, everybody! Here are some Sunday Christmas strips from years ago…ernie-05-12-25-colorernie-03-12-21-colorernie-02-12-22-colorernie-97-12-21-colorernie-88-12-25

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Hey, Christmas is a Comin’

And the geese are getting fat. And it’s not too late to get your weird Uncle Charlie one of my books for Christmas. I can use the beer money.

I’m back in Florida from the frozen North. Hallelujah. Check out the Southwest Airline teminal at Reagan International. They’ve got these pads hooked up to the internet all over the place. Wowzer!

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You can watch tv, check Facebook and get loaded all at the same time. Ain’t technology grand?!

Some neighbors dressed up their mermaid like Santa. Those are painted coconut shells on her bosoms.

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Let’s all get into the Christmas Spirit! Here’s Santa fighting the elements in 2004:

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Back in the Frozen North

Actually the weather turned out to be not so bad. Loinfruit and I got the shack ready for winter. And my oysters look great. A year and a half ago0 I bought 400 tiny little baby oysters. They were about the size of my little fingernail. Now they’re big enough to eat. But I have mixed feelings. They’re like my own little babies. I don’t know if I can kill them. I made two cages for them. During the warm months they float at the surface. During the winter I sink them to near the bottom so they don’t freeze.

img_8042 img_8043 I got a nice email from Estonia last week. Taivo Põrk (Yes, that’s his name. I’m sure Dr. Pork’s parents were Estonian. I never knew.) asked me to post the Goatherd Story from 1996. It seems that the Estonian Minister of Agriculture is a goat farmer. It gets weirder and weirder, doesn’t it?

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How to Throw a Cast Net

Years ago, my cousin, Greg, was real good at it. Then he went away to earn a living. After many years he’s back and he showed me how to throw a cast net. There have been lots of Mullet around this autumn. Back when I was a kid they were thick in the water. I used to see tight packed schools thirty feet in diameter churning the water. You could almost walk on themOnce my father hit one with a brick and brought it home for dinner. And when I was in high school, whenever we needed to raise money for some project, we’d have a fish fry. Mighty fine. Smoked mullet is delicious. So is deep fried mullet. But it has to be very fresh. It goes bad fast. Also when I was a kid, the fishermen used gill nets. When they found a school of fish close to the beach, they would surround the fish with a very long gill net. Maybe 100 feet long or so. We would help them pull the net onto the beach and they would give us a fish in return. Way back then fish were all over the place. No longer. Commercial fishermen have to go out at least a hundred miles to find them. There was a fisherman once down here, this was back in the forties. He was arrested for fishing  mullet out of season. But he was acquitted. His lawyer successfully argued that a mullet is not really a fish. It’s a bird. This is because a mullet has a gizzard, and only birds have gizzards. I think it’s a true story. Here’s my cousin Greg showing me how to throw a cast net.

Here are two short stories from this time of year back in 20002. Effie does her best to make woodpecker stew, and Ernie gets a chin job…

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I get such interesting stuff in the mail

img_7249Nothing happened last week. I just got to get a life. Thank God I have good reading material to occupy my time.

Here are some Sundays from 1988. Back then we did things the old fashioned way, so I don’t have the color versions.

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High School Reunion Time

Good ol’ Seacow High! Last week we had our reunion. It was a long, long time ago when all graduated.Here’s a picture of part of the group:

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And these are the ones that were in my elementary school, dear old Anna Maria Elementary. Just to think that I’ve known these people since I was a little tiny kid. Wow! It brings tears to my pretty eyes. There’s Mary Jo and Delores and Doris and Betty Lu and Bobby and Freddy and Terry and little old me. I wish all of our old classmates could have been there.

15032220_10154663646154727_2081896768675096242_nI recalled one story of the time I swiped Colonel Doyl’s rabbit fur, the one he used to make static electricity. That week they took our senior class group pictures, and I wore the fur ala Jerry Colonna non my upper lip. We had a big graduating class, and the prison guards didn’t see my moustache until after it was a done deal. I caught proverbial hell from the warden and the rest of the Gestapo. They threatened to make my poor widowed mother pay to have the whole thing done over. Their final solution for the Yearbook was to cut my head out and paste somebody else’s head on my body. Yep, if you look at my old yearbook, I’m the guy with the tiny misshapen head.

Here’s what sunsets look like from my back yard:

img_8012Hey, Christmas is fast approaching. Do your grandpa a big favor and buy him one of my books. For ever two I sell, I make enough money to buy a bottle of beer.

You are probably aware that Effie sometimes has a hard time buying a quality cut of meat from Schultz the Butcher. Here are a few instances from 2005 and 2006…

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