At least we have beautiful sunsets

Here in Bradenton. This condo where we are staying is on Palma Sola Bay. We’re not too far from Anna Maria Island where I grew up. And we’re still looking for a house to buy. Maybe one will pop up next week.

IMG_7477This gal in the supermarket is proud to be a facility.

IMG_7478I don’t know what it means.

Have you ever noticed that now that everybody has a camera in his pocket, people have stopped being abducted by space aliens. Not Ernie. Back in 2005 Ernie found himself on the menu.

Ernie 05-01-10Ernie 05-01-11Ernie 05-01-12

Ernie 05-01-13a

Ernie 05-01-14Ernie 05-01-15

Jimmy Hoffa was an American union leader with alleged ties to the Mafia. He disappeared without a trace in 1975.

Ernie 05-01-17oActually, that one didn’t make it past my editor. Here’s the replacement:

Ernie 05-01-17pErnie 05-01-18

James Earl Jones (The voice of Darth Vader) made Sprint commercials.

Ernie 05-01-19Ernie 05-01-20Ernie 05-01-21Ernie 05-01-22Ernie 05-01-24Everybody knows who Eleanor Roosevelt was, right?

Ernie 05-01-25Ernie 05-01-26Ernie 05-01-27Ernie 05-01-28Ernie 05-01-29

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Nothing to report except it’s hot as hell

Not just here in Florida, but all over the USA. What continues to amaze me is how people with absolutely no background in or understanding of physics believe they know all there is to know about thermodynamics in general and global warming in particular. A friend of mine was carrying on a couple of years ago about how all this global warming stuff was all a bunch of bull hockey. I asked him what the second law of thermodynamics was, and he got this really stupid look on his face. I, myself, certainly don’t claim to be an authority on topics I know very little about. But I do know quite a bit about physics.

If you are one of the science deniers, consider this. Suppose you have two balls, exactly the same size and weight. You put them in the sun. Which one heats up faster? If you said the black one, of course you would be correct. I grew up in the Florida sun and I can assure you that it’s much easier to walk barefoot on the white sand than it is in on the black asphalt. I used to see how long I could take the pain when I was a kid before I jumped off the road. And when you take the two balls out of the sun, the black one cools off much faster than the white. That’s called “black body radiation”. The same thing happens with ink and milk. It’s easily demonstrated. The science deniers must believe that although the phenomenon works with molecules in both a solid state and a liquid state, it doesn’t work on molecules in a gaseous state. I find that very silly.

Enough of that. Two weeks ago I was talking about my unquestioned ability to predict the future. I spoke of when I correctly predicted cows falling out of the sky. (I also correctly predicted the 2008 U.S. presidential election even way before the Democratic and Republican conventions. So there.) Here are some of the falling cow comic stripes from 1990. By the way, my mention of the U.S. bombing of Libya got me thrown out of 15 American newspapers. Or maybe it was the Dan Quayle joke. (He was George Bush’s vice president, and he was not known for his soaring intellect) I’m sure everybody remembers Dr. Carl Sagan (“Billyuns and billyuns and billyuns…). Sam Donaldson was a television news reporter who who was a big thorn in the side of the Republican administration. He was often ignored at news conferences. My editor, Jay Kennedy was so very very good at his job. He tragically died in 2007. I heavily relied on his judgement . I still miss his expertise. The Trix gag had to do with a kids’ tv commercial for Trix breakfast cereal. The rabbit was always trying to get some Trix to eat. He never did. I felt bad for him.

Ernie 90-05-25Ernie 90-05-26Ernie 90-05-28Ernie 90-05-29Ernie 90-05-30Ernie 90-05-31Ernie 90-06-01Ernie 90-06-02Ernie 90-06-04Ernie 90-06-05Ernie 90-06-06Ernie 90-06-07Ernie 90-06-08Ernie 90-06-09


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Am I Patriotic or What?!!!

Happy Fourth of July. Here I am waving the flag. Actually I’m waving two and wearing one around my neck.IMG_0142I’m still in Florida looking for a house to buy. There doesn’t seem to be much coming on the market lately. At least none that I want to live in.


Went to the movies last night. Something I usually do only once a year. I’m easily bored. I saw the new Tarzan movie. Too much Tarzan, too few gorillas. I hate to spoil the ending, but here it is. Tarzan wins and the bad guys lose.

At the King Features web site (See the link in the menu bar?) they tell me it’s National Kissing Week. OK. Right. Here’s Hot Lips Arnoldski back in 1994…

Ernie 94-09-05 Ernie 94-09-06 Ernie 94-09-07 Ernie 94-09-08 Ernie 94-09-09 Ernie 94-09-10 Ernie 94-09-12 Ernie 94-09-13 Ernie 94-09-14 Ernie 94-09-15 Ernie 94-09-16 Ernie 94-09-17

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Nostrildamus Returns.

Remember when I predicted that cows would fall out of the sky? About 26 years ago? And it happened? And remember when I had Mother Teresa bungie jumping? And that very same day she passed away? Well, Nostrildamus (Remember when I was Nostrildamus about 20 years ago/) did it again! Last week I had Ernie’s robot conspiring with his toaster. Dr. Dave from good ol’ PA (I was born in PA. Chester, to be specific. The jewel of Pensylvania!) Dr. Dave from good ol’ PA sent me this link:

Put that in your pipe of incredulity and smoke it! Let’s see if I can find that old toaster story from years ago…

OK, These are from 1988:Ernie 88-11-30Ernie 88-12-01Ernie 88-12-02Ernie 88-12-03Ernie 88-12-05Ernie 88-12-06Ernie 88-12-07These are from 1989:Ernie 89-11-02 Ernie 89-11-01 Ernie 89-10-31 Ernie 89-10-30And if you forgot Nostrildamus, these are from 1997

Ernie 97-02-12 Ernie 97-02-13 Ernie 97-02-14

Ernie 97-02-15Ernie 97-02-17Ernie 97-02-18

Frau Grace calls me “Poop for Brains”

Ernie 97-02-19Ernie 97-02-20Ernie 97-02-21Ernie 97-02-22


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Happy Fathers Day

Hey, I forgot to hit the “post” button last week. I’m sorry. I’m in Florida, staying at my cousin’s condominium. Things were a little screwed up. Tropical storm Colin came through. It blew and poured rain for 2 days. The tide came way up over my cousin’s dock.

IMG_7458Did a job on it. It needed replacing anyway, so I rebuilt it. Yes, besides being extremely attractive, I’m also an expert dock builder. If you recall, last year I rebuilt my own dock on the Chesapeake. (I also rebuilt my bulkhead) Before and after:IMG_7463 IMG_7467If you’re looking for my pizza recipe, it’s in the May 15 post.

Hey, It’s Fathers Day here in the US of A! I know that some of you men out there have got to be bum fathers. Like Sid’s pop, Grandpa Fernwilter. Here are a couple stories from a few years back:

Grandpa’s Reconciliation…

Ernie 11-03-28 Ernie 11-03-29 Ernie 11-03-30 Ernie 11-03-31 Ernie 11-04-01 Ernie 11-04-02

Pet Day at the Nursing Home…Ernie 12-03-05 Ernie 12-03-06 Ernie 12-03-07 Ernie 12-03-08 Ernie 12-03-09 Ernie 12-03-10

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If you’re looking for my pizza recipe, it’s at the May 15 post.

Sorry, I’m a day late getting this up. Frau Grace and I are in Florida trying to buy a house, and my schedule is all screwed up. We though we had finally come to an agreement on a nice place on a canal, but the owners backed out today. What a pain. If you ever want to buy a house down here in Bradenton or the vicinity, I have the agent for you. He’s absolutely terrific. And Iv’e known him since we were eight years old. His name is Leland Wallace, and he works at Keller Williams Real Estate.

We’re staying at my cousin’s place. Right now we’re in the midst of Tropical Storm Colin. It’s blowing like heck. Pouring rain. The tide is almost three feet above normal. My cousin’s dock is under water, and planks were tearing up and floating away.IMG_7458Check out the beautiful tree here in the condominium when we got here. I don’t know what they are called, but they are in bloom all over the place.IMG_7374They have these big seed pods, if you can see them.IMG_7378

Here are a couple of weeks from 2001. First Dr. Von Snoid:

Ernie 01-05-21Ernie 01-05-23Ernie 01-05-25Ernie 01-05-26Ernie 01-05-24Effie makes a little money dancing:

Ernie 01-06-04 Ernie 01-06-05 Ernie 01-06-06 Ernie 01-06-07 Ernie 01-06-08 Ernie 01-06-09

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Back to Florida

Im in a cheap hotel in Fayetteville, North Carolina just now. Om my way back to my old home town, Bradenton.  And man am I beat. I tied one on last night, but good. Nothing much to show you except some of my herbs back on the Chesapeake. Take a look








Tarragon. It’s very good. People don’t use it much in their cooking. Too bad.




Summerwood. It’s related to wormwood. I infuse it into vodka to make aquavit. Mighty tasty. It also is an insect repellent.

Hey the bats are back like crazy this year. Two nights ago one buzzed by my my head maybe two feet away. They’re all over the joint. Frau grace loves them. There are at least two species judging by their size. I think I mentioned my bat house before. Here it is, just above my hummingbird feeder. Not a good photo. It’s kind of drowned out by the morning sunlightIMG_7346

It’s been a cold wet spring and the hummingbirds haven’t come back yet. Did I mention that two bald eagles flew over my house last week. All the ospreys on the creek mobbed them. It was quite a sight.

And hats off to all of our great veterans on this Memorial Day!

Back in 1994 Sid became a little light fingered:

Ernie 94-10-17 Ernie 94-10-18 Ernie 94-10-19 Ernie 94-10-20 Ernie 94-10-21 Ernie 94-10-22 Ernie 94-10-24 Ernie 94-10-25 Ernie 94-10-26 Ernie 94-10-27 Ernie 94-10-28 Ernie 94-10-29

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Not much to say this week.

Hey, if you’re looking for my pizza recipe, it’s on the 6-25 entry.

I’ve been redoing our upstairs bathroom. It’s just about done. I had to tear up the old floor and subfloor and replace them. The new floor looks great. We had one of those¬† “cover your old bathtub and shower with a new one” installed and that looks good too. I have yet to finish the molding. That and I had to spend a day in Virginia at doctors appointments. I also did a full weeks worth of drawing. I’m greatly overworked and underpaid. So that’s about it for this week. But here’s an old story, one of my personal favorites from 1991. Sid and Mr. Squid have some issues….

Ernie 91-04-01Ernie 91-04-02 Ernie 91-04-03 Ernie 91-04-04 Ernie 91-04-05 Ernie 91-04-06 Ernie 91-04-08 ernie 91-04-09 Ernie 91-04-10 Ernie 91-04-11 Ernie 91-04-12 Ernie 91-04-13 Ernie 91-04-15 Ernie 91-04-16 Ernie 91-04-17 Ernie 91-04-18Ernie 91-04-19 Ernie 91-04-20

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How to Make Pizza

I wrote in Serieparadan that I would tell you all how to make the world’s best pizza. Here goes:

For the dough you will need

  • 2 cups of all purpose flour
  • half teaspoon of salt
  • half a cup of warm water
  • one package of double acting yeast
  • 2 teaspoons of olive oil

Dissolve the yeast in the warm water, add the olive oil and mix it up. In a large bowl mix all the stuff together, and knead it for three or four minutes. If the dough is sticky add more flour. You can’t have the dough being sticky or you won’t be able to get it into the oven. Now roll it into a ball, cover it with a warm damp towel, and let it rise for about 20 minutes someplace warm. What I do is place the bowl that has the dough ball inside a larger bowl that has hot water in it.IMG_7312

Covered with a warm damp towel that I rewarm every four or five minutes.

IMG_7313You will need a pizza board. Here’s mine. I’ve had it for twenty years or so:IMG_7314What you should do with the dough once it has risen is roll it out a little bit. Dust the pin and surface with flour to keep it from sticking. Then you should toss it up in the air. I’m not good at that. I screw it up all the time. So I roll it out. It’s best to toss it because you can make it nice and round, and you don’t flatten it since it’s already risen. I dust my pizza board with flour and then roll it out on that.

(The blue gloves were because I had primed my bathroom floor earlier that day, and I had some of the stuff on my hands that I couldn’t get off) Then you crinkle up the edges to keep the sauce from running over.

Now for the sauce you need:

  • One of those little cans of tomato sauce
  • garlic powder, as much as you like
  • a tablespoon of olive oil

IMG_7316IMG_7317Mix it all up and pour as much as you like on the crust. You don’t have to use it all. Use lots of fresh basil. I didn’t have a whole lot. Usually I would use more. Here I’ve washed it and then dried it on a towel. Frau Grace jumped in and put it on this grate. IMG_7322Use more basil than this. I just ran out.

IMG_7328Get whole milk mozzarella. Don’t mess with that part skim stuff. If you’re going to clog your arteries up anyway, do it right.IMG_7326IMG_7329I only had 12 ounces of cheese. Use at least a pound. I always put anchovies and mushrooms and bell peppers on my pizza. Frau Grace doesn’t like bell peppers so I only put them on my half. Use what ever ingredients you like. Did you know that what you like on your pizza tells a lot about your personality. I’ve done extensive research on this. Check at the bottom of this recipe.

You’ll need a pizza stone. This on I’ve had for 40 years. No kidding.IMG_7315I’ve preheated the oven to 400 degrees Kelvin. If you’re in Europe, you’ll have to convert this to Celsius, and the ounces to grams or whatever you use. (There are 16 ounces in a pound) I’ve let the pizza stone heat up in the oven. Here is the pizza just when I popped it into the oven:

IMG_7331Bake it for 15 to 17 minutes. You can tell it’s done when the crust is browned and the cheese is bubbling. Here it is partially eaten…IMG_7332What you like on your pizza says a lot about your personality. Here’s a little check list:

  • Pepperoni: You’re pretty boring
  • Sausage: A little better, but not much
  • Mushrooms: Invite your girlfriend
  • Poison mushrooms: Invite your mother-in-law
  • Olives: You have a Mediterranean temperament
  • Olives and vodka: Invite your wife’s brother
  • Eggplant: That’s good. Shows you have imagination
  • Eggplant and baloney: I stand corrected. You’re nuts
  • Squirrel’s ears: Time for another tune-up
  • Mushrooms, green peppers and anchovies: You’re intelligent, good looking and full of animal magnetism


Ok, that’s how you make pizza. And since we’re on the subject of food, here’s a little story about Effie from 1998…

Ernie 98-08-10Ernie 98-08-11Ernie 98-08-12Ernie 98-08-13Ernie 98-08-14 Ernie 98-08-15Ernie 98-08-17Ernie 98-08-18Ernie 98-08-19Ernie 98-08-20Ernie 98-08-21 Ernie 98-08-22

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Happy Mother’s Day

That’s today. Yesterday I bought Frau Grace an old escritoire. She needed a desk, and for the moment until we get resettled (Did I mention that I want to buy a house in my old hometown, Bradenton, Florida?) we’re a bit cramped for space. We live in our old summer house on the Chesapeake Bay. And I do mean old. The main part was built in 1896. People added on over the years. Right now I’m remodeling the bathrooms. I’m getting too old for this.


Well yesterday for Mother’s Day (A day early) I took Frau Grace to the Tidewater Inn in Easton. It’s about as old as my house. We drank a couple beers and watched the Kentucky Derby. She always likes to do that. There was one lady there with a hat. If you don’t know, the tradition of the Kentucky Derby is for the ladies to wear fancy hats and get loaded on mint juleps.IMG_7299This is pretty typical. After the race we walked down the block to a very fancy inn and restaurant, 202 Dover Street. Had a nice dinner including my first taste of real actual pate de fois gras from a poor abused goose. I felt kind of guilty. Last week a reader cautioned me about using bird calls while bird watching. I believe that he’s right if it’s done to excess. But would never intentionally hurt a bird. I feel kind of guilty in retrospect, considering¬† that I’ve read about people force feeding geese. We’ve got so many Canada Geese around here, it’s a wonder that one of the locals hasn’t gotten into the pate business. Winter time here on the bay it’s a shooting gallery. Also the week before last I drew a story about Arnold going to college to learn how to be a voodoo king. One of his courses was chicken strangling 101. But I assure you, no chickens were hurt in the drawing of the story.


Let me look int the archives and see if I can find a story about my favorite bird….Ernie 07-09-10 Ernie 07-09-11 Ernie 07-09-12 Ernie 07-09-13 Ernie 07-09-14 Ernie 07-09-15 Ernie 07-09-17 Ernie 07-09-18 Ernie 07-09-19 Ernie 07-09-20 Ernie 07-09-21 Ernie 07-09-22

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