Did I ever show you my neighbor’s Dodge Viper truck? Ten cylinder, 500 HP, and other stuff he told me. I don’t know a whole lot about expensive vehicles. My first car was a ’54 Pontiac. It broke down in Warrior Alabama. I had to walk back to Bradenton Beach. My neighbor also has a Viper sports car. And a cigarette boat.
And you’ll need bigger tits.
Dr. Fang is a friend of mine. He lives somewhere out in the Northwest. He’s a pulmonary specialist. Back in Philadelphia they call them “Lungers”. His name isn’t really Dr. Fang. It’s actually Dr. Wang. He calls himself Dr. Fang because he doesn’t want anybody to know that he’s Chinese. The reason that I’m thanking him is because of this… He told me about it:
That’s right! Costco sells civilized toilet paper. Not that 10 cm wide barely cover your butt crap. That’s right! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dr. Fang.
While I’m on the subject of fungi, take a gander of these magnificent lepiota lutea growing in Frau Grace’s spathiphylium.
I’m virtually certain that my identification is correct, but in the field guides the stalk is only supposed to be at most three inches long. These were about six inches. By the way, if you want to know what your wife’s stupid plant is, get this app: mygardenanswers. I also have a bunch of mushroom reference sources. These lemon yellow lepiota are poison. I’ve been collecting and eating wild mushrooms for the past forty years, and I only poisoned myself once. (Not including those days of my misspent youth in the cow pastures outside of Tallahassee) I have the Audubon Mushroom app on my IPhone. It’s not very complete. I have other print books. The best is The Audubon Guide to North American Mushrooms. My old copy is falling apart because I’ve used it so much over all those years. But it’s still the best.
OK, Just a reminder if you don’t know, There is a new collection available, the dailies from 2005 and 2006. And you might have heard that I’m retiring in the near future. If you see some bum at the traffic light with a cardboard sign, that will probably be me.
Here’s a Sunday from September 1998…
Back at this time of the year in 2013, Barnacle Bill becomes an agent for a very famous entertainer….
I’m retiring. February 3 will be my last comic strip in the papers. Don’t throw yourself off a cliff or anything. It will be thirty years, and I’m really tired. I’ve loved every minute of. Well, most every minute. I’ve been po’d* now and then. But I’ve been so very fortunate all these years. I’ve done what I’ve loved to do. I didn’t get rich, but that wasn’t the point. I can read my old comic strips and I still laugh like a fool. And other people laugh as well. That’s what it’s all about.
When I was in high school (Manatee High, class of 1961) there was a teacher there. His name was Mr. Masiell0. He was a short man, about five six. Late forties, I would guess. Rough complexion, flat top, always smiling. I never was in his class, but that didn’t matter. One day he asked me “What’s important in your life?” I told him that I thought if you left something that was good behind when you were gone, something worthwhile, something that was good for people or the planet, something that was positive – then your life would have been worth living. Well, I’ve tried to do that. I’ve made a lot of people laugh, including myself. And there is a body of work that I’ve left behind. And forgive me for saying, I’m proud of it.
Thank you so much for making my life worth living. I mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
This is from this time in 1988, the first year of Ernie…
Yes, folks, big news tomorrow. Be sure to check in!