Not much this week.

All I did was work. Worked on my bulkhead, tore up the old caps.  Tomorrow I’ll order planks to replace them as well as the decking on my dock. I also have to order new boards for my deck. I’m making it bigger. I would have gotten more done, but we’ve had so much rain that thew water table is only about six inched down, so I can’t place my posts. The cement won’t cure.IMG_5717I also made a little herb garden down by the water…IMG_5718My sister sent me this photo of her foot. Her little friends there bring back memories for me.

0622151805bWhen I was a kid down on the island, raccoons were our constant companions. I had several pet raccoons. My last one, named Coonie, slept with me until she matured and went back into the jungle. But every year she would come and visit me with her babies, and we would play together just like when. I loved her to death.MeandCoonie 5-56

A month or two ago I drew another Stinky Stinkbug story. Here’s a link to my stinky movie.

And here’s Stinky’s first appearance in 2010…Ernie 10-03-01 Ernie 10-03-02 Ernie 10-03-03 Ernie 10-03-04 Ernie 10-03-05 Ernie 10-03-06

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Back From THe Sunshine State

And how. The temperature for several days in a row in Orlando was 97 F. I’ve changed my mind about retiring to Florida. Loinfruit, who is a graduate student in urban planning, says it doesn’t matter. The State of Florida will be under water in 50 years. We were in my old home town, Bradenton, Florida – I grew up on Anna Maria Island- for a couple days and then to Orlando to see my father-in-law. 94 years old. Here we are with family and friends on my cousin Al’s boat, the Blew-By-You. Al has been taking family out on the weekends ever since was a kid. Here we are at the Pass between Anna Maria Island and Longboat Key. It’s a very popular spot for weekend boaters. That’s me with the dog. I don’t know the guy in front. He just showed up.NCM_0020

Loinfruit and I (Frau Grace went to Texas to visit her sister) drove straight through the 900 miles from Orlando to Washington DC in 12 and a half hours. I only drove through South Carolina, 200 miles. He drove the rest of the way. That’s what kids are for. Here’s the nuclear power plant just outside of Jacksonville. Way back when I had my last real job I was the State of Florida’s guy for policy on nuclear waste disposal. There’s no easy way out.IMG_5711

Here’s Loinfruit in his subterranian digs. I slept over when we got back Thursday evening.

IMG_5713Enough of that. I had a request from Roscoe to post an old story line about the worlds hardest question. It took a while to find it. The original story is from 1995. I had some filler material between some of the strips which I’m not publishing. The reason I did it was to give readers a little surprise when they got to the Clinton strip. Then in 2006 I brought back the world’s hardest question. Here are both stories. Remember, if there is a certain story or single strip that you would like to see again, email me and I’ll do my best to find it.

Ernie 95-09-14 Ernie 95-09-15 Ernie 95-09-16 Ernie 95-09-18 Ernie 95-09-19 Ernie 95-09-20 Ernie 95-09-21 Ernie 95-09-22 Ernie 95-09-23 Ernie 95-09-27 Ernie 95-10-06

And here are the strips from 2006

Ernie 06-07-17 Ernie 06-07-18 Ernie 06-07-19 Ernie 06-07-20 Ernie 06-07-21 Ernie 06-07-22 Ernie 06-07-24 Ernie 06-07-25 Ernie 06-07-26 Ernie 06-07-27 Ernie 06-07-28 Ernie 06-07-29

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Down to Florida

It was a long trip. If you have ever done it I-95 from the Northeast to Florida ain’t much fun. The Frau and I drove down the Coast on Highway 17 from St Michaels Maryland to Florida. It took longer, but it’s much better for your mental stability. Spent the first night in Myrtle beach South Carolina. Myrtle Beach is a summer vacation city for people who live in the Mid Atlantic states:

IMG_5602

The boardwalk is more of a cement walk:IMG_5605

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The bridge in Charleston South Carolina is the prettiest I’ve ever seen:

IMG_5646The last vacation I had was in 1994. Mert Nertman filed in for me…Ernie 94-01-03 Ernie 94-01-04 Ernie 94-01-05 Ernie 94-01-06 Ernie 94-01-07 Ernie 94-01-08 Ernie 94-01-10 Ernie 94-01-11 Ernie 94-01-12 Ernie 94-01-13 Ernie 94-01-14 Ernie 94-01-15

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Adios

This Thursday we’re off to Florida to visit the old folks at Home. Frau Grace’s Dad is 94. We’ll drive down there along the seaboard, across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel, and then down through Virginia and North Carolina. From here it’s about 900 milles to Orlando, our first stop.

In the meantime, check this out – my son, Loinfruit, came over and we repaired the final portion of my bulkhead. The problem was that there was no access to the outside because of my neighbor’s riprap shoreline. If you don’t know, riprap is rocks piled along the shore. I worked Loinfruit’s butt off.IMG_5574_2 IMG_5572_2

Job well done, Loinfruit! See my beautiful boat just behind Lf? Today we took her out for a little shakedown. I named it Piraya. I should have named it Pariah. It’s a piece of excrement. Here are a couple nice boats out of St Michaels we passed. The first is a restored skipjack out of the St Michaels Maritime Museum. (If you are ever in St Michaels, which happens to be the top destination on the Eastern Shore of the Chesapeake, be sure to stop in.) You should read about the skipjacks. The State of Maryland only allows dredging for oysters while under sail. There are only a handful of skipjacks left. They are all over a hundred years old. I don’t know if any are still dredging commercially. The one here evidently takes tourists for rides out of the museum. Too bad it wasn’t under sail. There is another on Tillman Island which takes people out to the oyster beds and lets them dredge.

IMG_5589The second is a beautiful catboat. From Wikepedia: A catboat, or a cat-rigged sailboat, is a sailing vessel characterized by a single mast carried well forward. Generally a catboat has a light and shallow draft hull, wide beam approximately half its length, is gaff riged, and carries a centreboard. Both boats, of course, are handmade and wooden. IMG_5577

Speaking of boats, in 1998 Ernie took Doris on a cruise…

Ernie 98-06-01 Ernie 98-06-02 Ernie 98-06-03 Ernie 98-06-04 Ernie 98-06-05 Ernie 98-06-06 Ernie 98-06-08 Ernie 98-06-09 Ernie 98-06-10 Ernie 98-06-11 Ernie 98-06-12 Ernie 98-06-13

 

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We done moved

Our little old shack on the Chesapeake is stacked floor to ceiling with junk. Frau Grace’s concept of downsizing is moving all your crap into a smaller house. But at least we’ve moved. I get here to find out that my IMac is all messed up . I have to take it to Annapolis tomorrow to the Apple store. But guess what we had for dinner last night…

ELK BURGERS!

Yes, folks the supermarket now sells elk. For those in Scandinavia, this is not a moose. They call mooses elks in Scandinavia. An elk is the second largest member of the deer family. If you have never seen an elk, here’s what they look like:IMG_5558I haven’t been able for the past two weeks. I’m going nutz. I won’t be able to draw tomorrow either.  I’m in withdrawal. Here’s a page from the Ernie comic book from 2011. I know most of my male readers have a hard time meeting attractive members of the opposite sex. I’m here to help:

I’ve been thinking. Every time I’ve written this column lately, it seems that all I talk about is myself. And I’ve been doing some thinking and some soul-searching. Is this what life and all about? ME?! Well actually it is, but occasionally I should take some time and consider you. Yes, you, the fine people who read my comics. Of course, about half of you can’t really read. What you do is look at the pictures and turn the pages. But even so, you all deserve my attention. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not good at giving advice to my female readers (or picture lookers, as the case may be). I happen to be married to one of your kind, and over the years I’ve learned that it’s best not to even attempt to tell a woman, any woman, what to do. I have several permanent lumps on the back of my parietal bone which attest to that fact. But I can be of service to my male readers. (At least to the ones who can read. If you can’t read, you’re not reading this, so it doesn’t matter, does it? Maybe if you can read you could help some half-wit, say your brother-in-law, by reading this to him.)

Now, it must be obvious to you, that you, assuming that you’re a single male, are a total loser. Because if you weren’t a loser, you wouldn’t be sitting there reading this comic book. You’d be out at a bar, or the mall, or the duck pond, or some other place picking up chicks. Remember, you have one thing going for you that married men lack. You don’t have any lumps on your cranial bones. That comes later assuming you’re smart and you take my advice. To make it easy for you I’ve written down some basic rules which will make that special gal melt in your arms.

A. Personal hygiene: Here is a simple checklist that you should go over before you leave your house on your hunt for a female companion.
1. Women are not attracted to stinky men who never bathe. As absurd as this concept might seem, it is an irreversible fact. Go figure. Wash your size twelves and your armpits. These are your primary stink organs.
2. Check your teeth for spinach. Women don’t like to kiss a man who has spinach or cabbage or stuff like that stuck between his teeth. And this is really for your own good as well. Nothing can destroy a romantic moment as quickly as when she sucks in a hunk of spinach and gags in your mouth as you softly press your lips to hers. (If she gags while you’re trying to lick her tonsils, that’s ok)
3. Make sure you blow your nose good. (See item 2 above about gagging)

B. Go to where the women are. More specifically, go to where the type of woman you’re looking for hang out. For example, if you want a babe that prays a lot, go to a church. If you want a chick who likes to get sloppy drunk and puke all over your shirt, go to bars. If you’re looking for a woman who has running sores all over her body, go to a leper colony.

C. Compliment her. Don’t be negative. Find something you like about her and say something nice about it. Here are some examples:
1. “You smell like my mother.”
2. “For a fat girl, you don’t sweat much.”
3. “Your running sores seem to be clearing up” (See leper colony above)

D. Bring her presents. Find out what she likes and give it to her. If she’s fat, bring her a pie. If she’s bulimic bring her some ipecac. Some women like to collect certain things. Frau Grace, for example, likes to collect little mooses.  Suppose your lady love is into teddy bears. Give her your old teddy bear, if you can bear to part with it.   Suppose she likes teaspoons. Swipe some teaspoons for her. Suppose she collects lint. Let her dig through your belly button.

And good luck.

how to pick up women

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I’m still pretty busy moving…

so I haven’t been able to do any drawing for the past two weeks. But we did have time for dinner with friends. Actually this is getting boozed up before dinner…IMG_5530Umberto is checking out some Argentine vintages…

IMG_5534Evidently La Dulce Vita in Fairfax gives out prizes for the longest cigar ash. This guy also had a terrific shirt…IMG_5535Check out my pretty iris patch at the shack on the bay…IMG_5537One more week of moving and then I hope to get back to work, at least for a week or two before we have to go visit the old folks in Florida.

Speaking about getting boozed up, back in 2004 Sid got into a little bit of trouble with the FBI. There’s 13 strips here for the two weeks in March instead of 12. I didn’t use the seventh in the series. Don’t know why. I probably thought some little old ladies would complain. Believe me, it happens. Na Zdrowie! (Polish for “Let’s get loaded”)Ernie 04-03-15Ernie 04-03-16Ernie 04-03-17Ernie 04-03-18

Ernie 04-03-19Ernie 04-03-20Ernie 04-03-22oErnie 04-03-22pErnie 04-03-23Ernie 04-03-24Ernie 04-03-25

Ernie 04-03-26

Ernie 04-03-27

 

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HI, Everybody

I’ve been so busy with moving to the Chesapeake, that I haven’t had time to do much more than put up some strips this week. I apologise.

Have you downloaded the daily strips from 2005 yet. It free. go to my Buy Stuff page.

And If you want to have an original strip, please tell me as soon as you can. I’m getting ready to archive my strips from 2012, 2013, and 2014.

Back in the winter 0f 2007, Ernie came up with another brilliant money saving idea…

Ernie 07-02-19 Ernie 07-02-20p Ernie 07-02-21pErnie 07-02-22p  Ernie 07-02-23p Ernie 07-02-24p

 

 

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Happy Mother’s Day

Yes, happy Mother’s Day. My dear sainted mother passed away ten years ago. She was something else. A kind, loving heart, but just a little screwy. I miss her. If your mom is still with you, make certain that you tell her you love her.

If you would like an original comic strip, let me know as soon as y0u can. As I mentioned, we are moving. I still have strips from 2012 and later, but I’m getting ready to send them to the University of Ohio for archiving. Also, if you haven’t downloaded my daily strips from 2005, what’s the matter with you? It’s FREE! Go to my buy stuff page.

Sid’s mom came to visit him in 1998…

Ernie 98-10-12 Ernie 98-10-13Ernie 98-10-14 Ernie 98-10-15 Ernie 98-10-16 Ernie 98-10-17 Ernie 98-10-19 Ernie 98-10-20 Ernie 98-10-21 Ernie 98-10-22 Ernie 98-10-23 Ernie 98-10-24

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More Fruitcake

Last Sunday Frau Grace and I took a drive up to the monastery near Berryville Virginia to buy another load of the monks’ fruitcake. (I bought 3. I love fruitcake.) Brother Vincent was no longer the gift shop guy. Brother Joseph was there. Last November when we were there, Brother Vincent was complaining a bit too much. The new head monk was thinking about dropping the fruitcakes from the line up. Now Brother Vincent has other duties. Feeding the Bulls or something. Brother Joseph cleared out the shop. It used to be loaded with stuff from floor to ceiling. No more. I said “You really cleared out the gift shop” He said “What I did was get rid of the junk”. And no more cute little kittens in a basket, either.

Here’s the monastery…IMG_5397One source of their income is Angus Bulls. What a life, lying in the shade of an oak chewing your cud. And oh, the babes!IMG_5414On the way back we stopped in the old village of Waterford, Virginia. It’s very picturesque.  It’s also a National Historic Landmark. http://www.waterfordvillage.org/about.htm. It was founded in 1733.  Here are some pictures…IMG_5458IMG_5424IMG_5470IMG_5471Derby Day. Here’s Frau Grace’s hat…IMG_5485Back in 1995 Mr. Squid gat his own tv show…Ernie 95-11-27 Ernie 95-11-28 Ernie 95-11-29 Ernie 95-11-30 Ernie 95-12-01 Ernie 95-12-02 Ernie 95-12-04 Ernie 95-12-05 Ernie 95-12-06 Ernie 95-12-07 Ernie 95-12-08

 

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Great Falls, Virginia

Last weekend I took a walk through Great Falls Park in Virginia. Great Falls is on the Potomac River, just above Washington. DC. (I went there hunting the elusive morel. No luck.) Below Great Falls the river becomes tidal. I thought you might be interested in what it looks like.

Here’s a stream in the forest near the falls:IMG_5372This is the Aqueduct Dam above the falls. I believe that it was built to make the river navigable above it:IMG_5378Two signs along the treacherous part of the river. And they’re not kidding. Once you’re in, you’re sucked under, and very few people escape:IMG_5385IMG_5388George Washington formed the Patowmack Company in 1785. It built this canal skirting the falls:IMG_5386Here’s some info about the canal:

IMG_5387The canal operated in the early 1800s for 26 years. The brochure says that flatboats which were about 75 feet long were poled down the river and through the canals. Afterwards the boatmen would dismantle the boats, sell them for lumber and then walk home.

This kid was having fun:IMG_5389The Falls:IMG_5391The total drop of the falls and the rapids is 76 feet. The people on the opposite shore are viewing the falls from Maryland:

IMG_5392And finally, here is a short film that I took.

Have you downloaded my dailies from 2005? It’s in PDF format and it’s FREE!

I am told that Hairstyle Appreciation Day is this week. Back in 2001 Sid opened a beauty parlor…Ernie 11-09-26Ernie 11-09-27Ernie 11-09-28pErnie 11-09-29Ernie 11-09-30pErnie 11-10-01

 

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